You may laugh or you may cry...but don't say I didn't warn you...

Written on Friday, but connection dropped before it could be posted....

I have been touched today, by a beautiful, fragile-looking but incredibly strong older woman...she approached me today at the bus stop while I was waiting with Kharim, my English student at Gisimba....she began speaking in words I could not understand and Kharim said, "You're beautiful...she is saying you are beautiful." The woman is a house-mother at Gisimba. I reached for her hand, expressing much thanks and sincere gratitude for her kind words....she continued to speak in words I could not understand....as I stared into her eyes, I asked Kharim what she was saying..."I watch you with the children, you are beautiful with them, i love you very much...." It was all I could do not to shed the tears that were swelling up inside my eyes....All I could do was wrap my arms around her and hug her and rub her back, telling her how beautiful and sweet she was....how incredible it is that love can be shared so easily between complete strangers....a simple smile, a laugh, a hug....she has touched my soul....

I had another moment with an older woman at Gisimba on Tuesday. She was apparently another house mother, helping to pound cassava leaves. With some translation assistance, I asked her if I could take a try - she was so excited to show me how to position the body just right to achieve the most power with each movement! After my weak attempt, I was able to take a picture with her. She looked so deep in my eyes, grabbed at my shoulders and demanded with a firm smile that she get a copy of that photo :-) We hugged and hugged...what a beautiful moment for me to really connect with another...the incredible power of the older women here to communicate so intensely without a single word we understand together....it is so incredible...

KINDERGARDEN
So - here it is, Sunday, a full week has gone since my last post. And what a fun week it has been! During the recess break this week, two of the other teachers at the school have been trying to help me learn some of the fun playground songs in Kinyarwanda. :-) I try to mimic the teachers as they try and sing with the kids. I'm picking up some words, bahoro bahoro, but it will be a while before I will even think I would be able to sing one without their guidance. Hopefully with a couple months ahead of me, I can get at least one memorized!

Through the week, I have continued to work on songs from last week, including I'm a Little Teapot. The children have been making soooo much progress!! On Friday we were all standing and singing, doing all the body movements with the song, and although they are still struggling with some words, they were really quite entertaining! I even had to pull my camera out and take a video of them...Just watching them bounce their hips and tip over to pour out makes me smile with so much joy!! I am so proud of them and continue to feed off their enthusiasm....

Another project this week, which I believe will continue through my time here, is the memorizing of "A Story About a Frog." It consists of 6 pages, appearing to be pulled from a coloring book. Each page has a picture of Kermit the Frog talking about "some of the things I like to do." The way they teach here is so much more focused on memorizing things. The teacher will just repeat the first page over and over again and move to the second page when they can recite the correct sounds....Well this week I was asked to help color the pages of the book for each of the 39 students in the class!! So, while they are working on learning the Rwanda anthem or taking their breakfast break, I have been assigned to coloring - 6 pages for each of the 39 students!! There is another teacher assistant who is helping, and thank goodness I like to color, but I found this so interesting. They just photocopy the blank page and color in. I was trying to understand why they don't make this a coloring assignment, but those seem to be saved for things like vegetables and transportation, etc. I suppose this is like their "textbook" so the teachers want to give them a complete copy to "read" rather than color....can you imagine our teachers coloring our storybooks for us?? Such an interesting thought...

Ah yes...so speaking of books and repetition, one of my highlights this week was when I was able to bring calm to the class all on my own :-) After recess one day, the kids were out of control! You would think they would lose energy, but no...they just become more hyper! So, I grabbed one of my books, "Go, Dog, Go." I began to read the simple words from each page - Big dog, little dog, white dog, black dog... etc etc. The kids suddenly started paying attention to me! They would repeat each line I would say, of course, because that is what they think they are supposed to do, but it worked out great because there are so many parts in there concerning prepositions I had recently reviewed with them - such as up, down, above, below - so they were simultaneously getting a review of those words as I had them do different hand or body motions. For the first time, the teacher had to tell them to get their bags when the guardians were showing up before we had finished a lesson! Normally they are bouncing off the walls when it is time to go. It was such a joy for me! :-)

One more thought on the kindergarten kids....So, over time, in an effort for the kids to understand what I mean when I say, "Listen to me," I have adopted a habit of pulling at my ear lobes...I thought this would help them to realize that you must use your ears to listen....so, on Friday, after recess, I wanted to try and do more songs with them. I stood in front with my finger in front of my lips to attempt to silence their afternoon energy. Suddenly, one of the dramatic boys in the back opened his eyes really big, stood up, pulled at his ears and shouted, "Listen, listen, listen to me!!" LOL This was HILARIOUS!!! All the kids began doing the same thing! The teacher started laughing along with me as she tried to explain to them in Kinyarwanda that in order to "Listen to me," they had to stop saying so! LOL I laugh so much just remembering it. Soooooo adorable these kids are!!!

AT GISIMBA
So, many of the students who have been waiting to get materials to go to boarding school at Sunrise were finally able to depart on Tuesday afternoon. It made for very quiet afternoons the rest of this week because not only are some away at boarding school, but many those who remain are out and about during the day at local school. In any case, I have been able to bond more with some of the younger girls, doing all sorts of things: bouncing balls, singing songs, dancing, playing their version of hopscotch, even just sitting with each other, laughing at my attempts as they try to make me speak kinyarwanda. Such a joie de vivre these children have...it can be a bit therapeutic :-)

I have been able to make some progress with Kharim, as well - the 15 year old who cannot speak English. I found out he is in Primary 5 - the equivalent of fifth grade. He was showing me what he does in school, but it is so sad because he just copies things from his teacher but has no idea what he has even written in his notebook....On Thursday after kindergarten, there were two muzungus standing around at Gisimba - an older woman and a younger guy. They are volunteers from the Belgium organization that provides most of the international funding for Gisimba. It became evident that the woman had been here many times. She saw me and said, "You must be the one teaching Kharim English. He is so happy to have someone working with him." I learned that they all know his English but no one has thus far been able to really help him progress so she wished me well in that regard and said he seemed very excited to be working with me. Just hearing that really touched me....I pray I won't let him down.....I found out that there is someone who wants to sponsor him to go to a really good school in Uganda, but because of his English, he cannot go, so now he and I have even more motivation and push to keep trying! After getting some advice from my sister, I have been finding new ways to help him learn the alphabet, not just by memorizing the order, but actually comprehending the letters and recognizing them and writing them.....and on Friday we began working on their sounds....this will take a lot of time and effort, but I am really looking forward to the day he will be able to read a short simple book to me....what an accomplishment that will be for him!!

NYAMATA - an emotional experience...and may be graphic at times...
This weekend we all decided to stay in town which has been a nice change. However, yesterday was quite an emotionally exhausting and draining day. Three of us visited Nyamata - the site of a genocide memorial. I don't know that I can even go in to much detail right now, but I will share a few things about the site. When we arrived, the church was actually locked. But we were able to view through the doors and windows the rows of wooden benches covered with layer upon layer of the clothes worn by the 41,000 people from that area that were killed during the genocide....A deaf guard led us behind the church to a crypt area where we were led underground. Descending, we were faced with rows upon rows of caskets covered in purple and white cloth...this was such a hard place to be as I really felt like we were disturbing their peace...as we entered a second crypt, I was very unexpectedly faced with rows and rows of bones and skulls with their empty eye sockets staring back at me, each telling its own story with long cuts or small holes, each inflicted with the weapons of the war....I was so distraught seeing this and had such mixed emotions as I wanted to pay my respects but felt so strange seeing this raw, naked snapshot of the real individuals who lost their lives so prematurely...and something about the way they were lined up seemed so disrespectful for me to be there, seeing them lined up so orderly as if it was some storage room in a museum...As we were reflecting on the church from the outside, Charles Mugabe showed up. He ended up being our "guide" as he opened the church and began telling us the history of this site where 10,000 people stood shoulder to shoulder for three days until April 10 when masses of the perpetrators arrived and began the terror...There were marks on the doors of the church where men tried to shoot at the locks, but to no avail, so tried to get through with grenades instead, where the large crater on the cement floor and shrapnel in the ceiling tell the beginning of the story...what took a moment for us to realize was that Charles Mugabe was there on April 10, 1994 - an 8-year old boy, one of 13 people who walked out of that church, who was saved by his older brother who made him hide near the baptismal bowl and covered him with blood to make him appear dead. Charles witnessed the decapitation of his mother as she tried to prevent the hammering-to-death of his father...and faced reality the following morning that his 5 other siblings were murdered through the night....He told of a Hutu woman who, after refusing to kill her Tutsi husband, was forced upon the alter of the church where men proceeded to cut out the child she was carrying in her womb and had her bleed to death on the alter. Women who came to hunt with their husbands were charged with the mass killing of children, many by being picked up from their legs and swung like a bat against the brick walls until their heads were beaten in - blood stains on the wall still tell of these beatings...Ideology has somehow become more powerful than our natural instincts to protect, especially protection of innocent children...Humans seem to be the only species that will seek out to commit such mass atrocities against its own kind....can these acts come to an end before we bring about our own extinction?!

I am sorry my thoughts above may sound so dry, but my emotions have been so incredibly raw since seeing these sites...hearing the first hand accounts of a survivor and his struggles with forgiveness and yet to hear of his success with his studies and his promising future and interest in conflict resolution....what power for survival the human spirit can carry within...these unfathomable stories have left me so confused about the incredible power of propaganda and the ability for people to hang on to life when all seems lost....


OTHER NEWS
Friday was the last day for one of the volunteers that I had started working with at Gisimba, although she moved 10 days ago to another orphanage. We have another volunteer leaving on this Wednesday, so it will soon just be me and two others. Apparently there are no others coming at this placement next week, so in mid September when these two leave, I am hoping some more will be placed here in Kigali with me....thankfully I have really gotten along well with the others here and it adds a special dynamic to the entire experience. Actually, the girl still here from Germany will be joining me this coming weekend when I got on my Gorilla Trek. She isn't doing the trek, but will be hiking to Diane Fosey's tomb. It will be nice to travel with someone for this mini-adventure. We are currently planning a full extended weekend as we will be taking Friday off to begin the trip.